My name is Summer and I have a story to tell:
You see, I am a recovering addict.
Mind you, I have never used drugs, never been drunk, and I've never smoked a single cigarette... but I was an addict, alright. My addiction just happened to be to a legal, readily available and socially acceptable substance that most people consider harmless: I was addicted to food.
For most of my life, I have struggled with compulsive eating and obsessive worries about my weight. When I was younger, I managed to keep my weight in check using unhealthy food deprivation (skipping meals for days) and excessive exercise, but that approach couldn't -- and didn't -- last. Years of unhealthy food choices, emotional binge-eating, and exercise-bulimia eventually caught up with me. I had created a false image of what I wanted others to see, but by my mid-20's, that fragile illusion was shattered.
With my first pregnancy, I gained a whopping 65+ pounds.
For the next several years, I would lose -- and then regain -- the same 40-50 pounds. With every relapse, I seemed to add an additional five to ten pounds.
In desperation, I turned to science and began reading everything I could about metabolic syndrome, diet theories, and holistic approaches for balanced eating. I employed cleansing fasts, naturopathic supplements, and multiple diet plans. I researched various studies on endocrinology, learning how the body uses and stores fat, carbohydrates, and sugar. I believed that if I simply learned enough...wanted it enough...and worked hard enough, my struggle with food would resolve itself. Knowledge is power, right?
Despite all of my efforts and contrived self-control, my addiction remained intact.
A few years ago, my weight hovered around the 320 pound mark and I was devastated.
After 26 years of fighting so hard and sacrificing so much...the enormity of my failure was staggering. After that dark day, I all but gave up in my efforts to lose weight. I felt defeated, but for the most part, I was mad.
My abbreviated testimony here merely glimpses the desperation I felt during those dark days. Words cannot express the utter contempt I had for myself and what I had become. My life-long struggle with poor self-esteem now spiraled into self-loathing and disgust. Where had I gone (so horribly) wrong?
Nothing had ever bested me the way food had; It was the one thing I couldn't control.
Finally, in mounting desperation, I cried out to God. I told Him: "I give up! I quit! Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it, because everything I've tried has failed."
This wasn't just a cry for help; This was absolute surrender.
If I was going to lose this weight, and get free from my addiction to food, it would have to come from God.
And my God Is Faithful!
To date, I have lost more than 130 pounds and I'm still walking out my journey...
Achieving absolute healing cannot be a race; it doesn't happen overnight. Nevertheless, God has been with me each step of the way, through valleys of pain as well as mountain-sized victories, and He is with me, still.
I owe every success to Him, and because I know what He has done for me, I am stepping out in faith, once more, by sharing my story with you.
You can read part of my miraculous story of healing and restoration HERE. Or check out my BLOG for excerpts from my book and updates about my book. Don't hit the back button just yet; keep reading, and let this search be the one, which ends in SUCCESS.